Seven years ago I walked into a store and filled out an application that basically asked me in a variety of different ways if I was going to steal from them (The answer they were looking for was no, fyi). After three stores, two degrees, and two internships it appears as if I may finally be done working in the world of retail. I can't say so definitively, but at least for the time being I have a real job. So before making that huge leap into the next stage of my life. I figured I'd take a quiet moment to reflect on what valuable life lessons cashiering has taught me.
*Most people are pleasant, apathetic, and easygoing. Many are total assholes.
*Training videos are hilarious, especially when they don't try to be.
*Regardless of where you are working or what you are doing there will always be people who fail to understand the most simple and upfront directions.
*Children are evil. They are loud, manipulative and most parents haven't the faintest clue how to handle them.
*The lady who delivers the weekly tabloids dresses like an 80's pirate hooker, always wearing one of her many neon bandannas, matching shirt with one shoulder torn, hoop earrings, and very very thick hooker make-up.
*Signs are useless. Customers ignore them, and frequently interpret them erroneously.
*They make their own waffle cones at the Ben & Jerry's in Universal. It is easier than you think.
*The only people who will choose an oatmeal raisin cookie over a chocolate chip are the French.
*Australian tourists are frequently confused by our change.
*There are people who have mini-trapperkeepers full of coupons, divided by product and expiration date. These people typically keep their money in a huge unruly ball at the bottom of their purse.
*Far too many people's pets are on alprazolam.
*Old people are convinced you are typing the price of every product in manually even when they can clearly see the scanner and you don't have a keyboard.
*No matter how repetitive, annoying, or frustrating a job, is if you do it long enough you're bound to be a little nostalgic.
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